The Bitterness of my Life~

November 20th, 2010. i was on my bed, staring, wondering and puzzled all night Long though. Almost can't sleep as well... Thinking about myself, my future, my Life, my pals and thinking so hard about....

'her'..........~

Wat have i done.... i couldn't understand a single thing in the 1st place indeed. yet its time for me to realized... that, i did not meant for her anymore.. Its really Pain when the U concern, the one U really appreciate and the one u cared most doesn't get into it. i mean......... Nvm..

Its my fault when we never meet each other, never knew wat will be, n even worse, never 'talk' at all........... Im sorry... Plz forgive me...

i never knew wats going on with me until tonyte. The night that change my mind and thoughts about making relationship... about...
'LoVe'

it is like a sacred n Haunted words for me... yeah, i noe, its been too long for me being Lonely, and when the time came, it is a Lost cost..... my Bad.

When everyday u wish a happy day to her... u wish a healthier conditions her will b.... n u wish all the best in her Life... yet, u can not Lie to urself that U did...

'missing sumone in ur Life'

and that Part of my Life called 'bitterness'
Yeah, its full of Pain and Suffer..... its hurt and even worse, im bLeeding and heavily wounded with the overwhelming wave of..................

'LoVe'

X0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0xx0x0x

its really Pain when the One u Cared most, the one u concern most n the one U Missed so much.....
Missed sumone else....................>>>>

and in the End, U found urself not in her List and U never noe wat it feels like....
Untill its too Late~

So, from now on....... I juz keep holding on.. and its better for me to walk a different path n worried no more... Im sorry again, its my Bad...

Sometimes there is no 2nd chance, no turning back, no next time...
Sometimes ........>>>>>

its now or 'Never'

So Long.............. 3.29am-Saturday.

From Penang with LOVE

November 19th.2010. Its Hari Raya Aidiladha Festive though that i'm on leave the whole week. Never knew wat to do in the 1st place but there's a several things to

share i suppose. Hmmm..............>>>>

This part of my Life called 'From Penang with LoVe'...........>>>>>>>>

Last a couple of weeks ago, i am really in an indomitable effort despite my ankle injury dislocated. I Have to settle all the particulars job scheduLe and follow-up of the Memo so as Charges Cases. Next, its time to go to Penang, Bayview Hotel namely as four-star Hotel in Malaysia. Situated juz next to Hard-Rock HoteL. I spent 3 days and 2night in Batu Feringghi for the courses and it was really enjoying and have a leisure time.

The night after took my Dinner and hall preparation was completed, we scattered around and me traveled to the Island on Pajero together with several colleagues. One of my colleague proposed 'Sup Kambing' will be the main course for our Supper. Im fulled actually but surprisingly enjoy the meal for sure.

Hehehehehehehehe...................~

On the same night, we have to fetch Shukri at 1 O'clock in the Morning. Eh, WAit a minute!! Before that, We met One of the Public
figure. Guess who? hahahahahahaha... Yup, we met 'DATO SERI ZAID IBRAHIM'. The one whose oppose to released his position as no 2nd Position in PKR. Which recently been
a Headlines in all Television Press i suppose.

The next day, the main courses begin and its very exhausting and tiring occasion. I have to attend a talk for nearly direct 3Hours non-stop program till evening.

And after 5 O'Clock in the evening, I went for swimming at the pool for my 2nd time attempt. It is a very hardship effort when u can not swim from the very beginning and U have to get used to it in no time. Hahahahaha... Actually we went for Swimming Pool, sea-bathing and Waterfall-alike that day. Can not imagine the passion i've been
through the whole evening... Real temptation and fascinating when u haven't been in the water for quite some time though.Later that night raining heavily and most of us spent the night on Bed after our Talk Slot
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.................>>>>>>>

THe next day is our final day at Bayview, Penang. OMG, forgot to share about the meal service. They serve us with a very High-Class meal and everytime when I went for Dinner and Lunch, i can not make a clear decision which one to put on my plate as all the meal really tempting, marvellous and delicious. I thought the Chef must be a High-Class as the Hotel itself namely a 4 Star Hotel in the Country. I am selected as the Chairman of the final SLot with a Private Liquidator Talk and have done my best to control and handLe the ceremony. After a short speech by our TKP(O), the Talk end. And it is very surprised when we did not have a photography session for our
memory saving.Nvm...

Actually, theres a lot of story to share though about my Examination at Auditorium Hall, Complex Islam DR, Jalan Panglima Bukit Gantang the next Day, i ride with Hajah and Ms.Kang to my Home (BG), met Uncle As for my ankle treatment and finally my journey backed to KL by ETS.

Hahahahaha....>>>>>>>

My schedule was really fixed, yet i still wanna contact her but i can't reach her. So sad, but that is the Reality itself when Ur Heart can not LIE to U.

H0hh000h0h0h0h0, but its OK, i Hope 'she' will someday or somehow......

Till then..............................................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Gnyte Mate~

Six Cycle-Carousel

November 9th.2010. It is a wonderful day and a cheerful morning today.I am in a rocovery mode from day to day basis and already stints last week. Not in a very good shape though, but thanXx to those whose concern about me, im touched. :')

Hmmmmmm.... Theres a lot of stuff to share tonyte, from A-z i suppose, yet no need to illustrate all of them here.

Wanna here my Six Cycle-Carousel story???

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha....

Nothing so special and interesting though, but the Moral of the story is really Good and it can be your Guidance for the time being. :]


Mmmm... How to begin eh>>> Hahahaha.. Ok ok...

A couple of months ago... Im jobless, unemployed... Everyday im feel retarded and grieve sort of Moral-Down and Give up as well. U know, when u heard most of your frenz been recruited and got an offer, U always praised and said to them 'Well Done'. But, deep inside ur heart it goes further down elsewhere. They succeeded but U did not. And every time my dad ask to visit my uncle or aunt's family, i begin to make up several excuses unintentionally. Coz they keep on asking the same old-passion question, its really annoying and irritating.

Nonetheless, Life must go on and on....>>> That is what we call 'Colours of Life'. Sometimes we might be at the top, but sometimes upside down. Its all depends on us to decide and be tough to go through all this matter of story-Line instead of blame yourself. So much negativity be in me and i need to wash them away from my life. I mean far away. Very far far far away from me.. X0x0x0x0x0x0x

Now, its already November 2010. And everything's change. Juz like a wheel rolling round and round again. My old time, i never expected my Life to change drastically, But Allah God the Almighty already made a PLAN for all of His creation indeed. Thanksgiving to those always cheer me up and it simply more than a words to say. No hesitation no more and i am ready to begin my NEW Life, NEW environment, NEW work-culture, NEW Frenzzz, NEW situation, NEW responsibility, NEW passion and NEW Relations... :p That's why i named this part of my Life as '6 Cycle-Carousel'. its jz like the 'Colors of Life'. I mean, not every day we are in a Good shape though. So, don b Sad, Tuhan selalu bersama kita dan DIA telah pun merancang Rezeki pd kita. Juz jgn putus asa n Give-up. Once U Give-up, then thats it!! (FULLSTOP). U will never succeed and we know, Tuhan x suka Hamba-Nya yg selalu berputus asa dan tidak berusaha n ikhtiar.

Believe it or Not to believe..........~

jz Believe in Ur own self.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm..., Actually,.............................>>>>>

i wanna share sumthing else... about this Little Girl i called 'Apple Pie'..

ahahahahahahahaha...

I bet she know 'who' im talking about...~

But, Nvm... I wish her a Best o Luck and Don U ever b SAD..
Theres so much things U never know n U never explore in ur LIFE before yet to come.....

No need to be sad juz b'coz of sum1 whom didn't appreciate ur existence in the 1st place... OMG... Noo...
Im running out of words again...

Well, its time to pen-off i Guess, Chill up and...

Gnyte everyone~ ..........................>>>>>>>>

Music o the months...........>>>>>>

i dedicated this song to those whom have been Hurt....

epsecially......

M.e

this Month's fever: Im Broken-Hearted with sum1 and oready remove her to forget about my scars...~

Mengapa....

slalu ak Yg Mengalah.................................

>>>>>

:'(

and for Most, im sorry and till we meet Again................................

I don't understand.........................~

November 6th. 2010. Ak kt umah.... yup, Kepong, KL..... it is juz a Bad Luck for me.. I'm Badly injured... i mean.. serious injury i haven't experience for quite some time. Dh lame x sakit ankle nh... huhuhuhuhuhu~ Damn its Hurt, i can not describe them in words though...

What i wanna share 2nyte is something that i can not explain myself, eventhough i try to several times before but it fails me...

'I Don't Understand......................'

Thats the word rolling out in my mind.....

what have i done?

Whats wrong did i commit??

Do i telling a lie?

Did i not b faithful person to trust??

I Don't understand.......................>>>

Y she believe in Him.....?

Even though its obvious that she been played??

Its clearly showed that he never cared about her at all........

Y always gurLz been Blind by such things and BLame sum1 else whom try to make things right??

I Don't undrstand...........................>>>>

I have to make a confession that i do begin to like her......

Even though i noe im not her kinda taste...

I don have a guts to make a serious Relationship for quite sometime indeed...

But, hmmm...................

Kenape...............>>>

Ak tipu??? Ak x jujur?? Ak mereka2 cter?? Ak cover cter??

Its complicted n i can not answer as i don wanna certain things to happen in the 1st place instead...

Namun....

Jauh disudut hati ak nk maen2 kan perasaan dan simpan segala yg terpendam..

Im juz a normal Human Beings....

Im not Perfect.....

Pernah dga Lagu Simple PLan??

Yup...

Sort of same conditions here.......

Xpe lah... Biarkan ia pergi.....

Jgn dikesalkan, Tuhan lebih mengerti isi Hati....

Cuma i jz wanna apologize if she didn't feel comfort n ak penah menyusahkn dia....

Yup....

4giv me, i have to 4get everything about U. Im so sorry and PLz....

Don't trust anybody.....

Believe in urself and don't BLame others...

U'll know what i mean for the years to come...

I mean it.....>>>>>>>>>

Salam~

AngEL's Cry....................^

November 5th, 2010. Its been 3months since i wrote in my BLog though... Not that i hate blogging but certain circumstances did make me couldn't post a single thing here. Never mind, hahaha... i'm still who i am but not will.i.am. hehehehehehe, i juz remember something that my colleagues wrote in my note when we all have an induction at Hotel Seri Malaysia, Mersing.... heres the sound:

'what U r is what U have done but who U r is what U will be'

This quote really resembLe me myself for the years to come ahead of me... I never felt this much untill now... hahaha

So much responsibility to myself

my dad

my Mum

my Family

my Wife to be :p

n yet

my CHiLd as well

hahahahaahahahahahaha^

i mean... everyone PLan their future... So am i..~

But still... when they talk about LoVe.... what is LoVe is all about???????@#$%&*(+!"

i never been in Love since my SPM 2004.... i met her after my SPM in UiTM Seri Iskandar... we have a program there.... She was my 1st Love indeed.. n after that...... till now...

Yeah,.... 2b honest, i do met severaL gurLs after that till my Honor's Degree.. but..........

Hmmmmmmmmmmm...

we didn't work it out....

The Question mark is 'Y'....

Y we do have to be LoVe yet CLash in the End.....

Even if we have married, divorce in the End.... Everything Still doesn't work at all....

'Y'????????????

B'coz people nowadays didn't know how to appreciate the Love they have...

Never ever vaLued each others they met

Never knew how much they have been together

Never Look beneath the Heart no more....

n it Makes me feel pain~

n if u read one of Japanese Manga, U will know How TerriBLe the Word's 'PAIN' means such....

i Mean it....PERIOD!!

Last but not Least, i dedicate this song to Whom Does'nt know the meaninG of

'L.o.V.e'............

its kinda remember me of 'Her' each time i hear this Song buddy~ :)

Enjoy....